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Post by .:-Aikoa-:. on Apr 5, 2009 16:00:41 GMT -5
The sunlight that illuminated Snakerocks was too weak to be alluring to any snakes, so Ashfire didn't bother with much but where she was directly going - which was just about nowhere. Her thoughts had lately been wound up in several different things - her brothers, Gaara, and now - unexpectedly - Firestar. Something about the leader and his young enthusiam, his bright eyes, and his noble, kind spirit was very... alluring to Ashfire. But it just wasn't meant to be. Firestar loved Sandstorm, and apparently some other cat, as well. Those two she-cats are so lucky to have caught his eye. The only tom I've ever loved besides Firestar... if I really do love him, which I probably don't... was a murderous, blood-thirsty, heartless killer. Ashfire stared at her paws. She had stopped at the crest of the rocks and seemed stricken by her own thoughts. No, she shook her head roughly, Gaara is not like that. He's... he's rough around the edges but he has a good heart. Perhaps I will one day meet him again... but I doubt it. A sorrowful feeling enveloped Ashfire. Her heart ached, and she thought perhaps there was reason in the term 'a broken heart'. How many times could Ashfire live when her heart kept breaking? After her brothers left, after Gaara killed Runningsoul, and now staring after a tom that could never be hers. It was all too much. Perhaps it would be best if I ran away from ThunderClan... But I probably would rather die than do that. Perhaps that's it. Perhaps death is truly the answer. Ashfire thought miserably. What other options did she have? She could live through life without being able to breathe, with her heart aching so much that she could scarcely believe she had anything left of it. Ashfire stared off into the distance.
"Oh StarClan..." she murmured, "Grant me strength."
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Post by Brambleclaw on Apr 5, 2009 20:26:35 GMT -5
[[Ashfire should overhear Firestar talking...]]
Firestar couldn't believe all that was happening. He hadn't slept or eaten since his talk with Spottedleaf, the love of his life. And now his real mate must know something, because she wouldn't talk with him either. And even just a little while ago, when he had visited his kits while Sandstorm slept peacefully, Firekit wouldn't look him in the eye! Squirrelkit ahd slept, and Firestar had only stared dumbfoundedly at Leafkit. The only tie between the once-lovers Spottedleaf and Firestar. He didn't even want to think about the kind, gentle, beautiful, amazing, alluring... He shook his head, cursing himself. Why did it all have to be so hard? He hated everything. He hated life. He hated his Clan. But mostly, he hated himself.
"If I never loved Spottedleaf, if I never even looked at her, things might be okay. I'd have three - two - healthy, strong kits. They'd be my family, and I'd be happy. But I got a she-cat who will never have me, and a she-cat who hates me, and a family who can't even look at me." Firestar let out an agonizing wail, his thoughts turning to Ashfire. The wisdom she had given him had seemed so good and helpful. Now his life was a total wreck. But at least he knew that Spottedleaf loved him, and Leafkit was a kit that he wanted to have. Still, he couldn't help but wonder why life was so miserable. Why StarClan had forsaken him in his greatest time of need. I'd rather die than keep on living like I do now. He thought miserably, and for a second debated finding an adder or going to the Thunderpath, or even jumping into the river. But his Clan needed him most now, and he couldn't do anything about it.
"Just stay true." He muttered to himself softly. "Just stay true."
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Post by .:-Aikoa-:. on Apr 5, 2009 21:17:05 GMT -5
Ashfire was just about to leave when she heard a cat coming. Not wanting to explain herself, she tried to hide. She heard a voice and froze. It was Firestar. Should she show herself? Then she heard what he was saying. Spottedleaf!? She's the other cat!? Ashfire thought, horrified. And what did he mean 'two healthy kits? She didn't know what to think. Her heart ached for her leader. He must understand somehow... Ashfire took a deep breath and leaped from her hiding place.
"Hello, Firestar." She meowed solemnly. She wasn't sure how he'd take her surprising appearance, but she'd take the steam. She wanted to help Firestar somehow, even if that meant he hated her. She didn't know if she loved him, but she did care about him, and she would give anything to have him be happy again.
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Post by Brambleclaw on Apr 5, 2009 21:43:07 GMT -5
Firestar continued to wallow in self-pity, and the saddening thoughts that coursed through his mind. Suddenly, he heard someone. Spinning around,he heard a she-cat speak. He saw Ashfire, and momentarily sighed in relief. Then he realized she may have overheard him. He gulped nervously, hoping she hadn't actually heard what he had said. Sighing, he nodded.
"Hello, Ashfire. Can I help you?" He asked nervously, hoping she had not heard what he was saying. But then again, it was his fault he had spoken out loud. Maybe if she had overheard, it would be nice to confide in another cat. Shaking the thoughts from his head, Firestar pleaded silently that Ashfire hadn't actually heard, and that she might leave just as quickly.
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Post by .:-Aikoa-:. on Apr 5, 2009 22:25:36 GMT -5
Ashfire was stiff but she looked confident enough. She stood with a serious look on her face, the whiskers above her eyes furrowed. She flicked her tail and shook her head.
"I am wondering if I can help you, actually. I overheard what you said." She said somberly. She wasn't very nervous for the result of her words. She could take it. She'd taken heartbreak, she could take this.
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Post by Brambleclaw on Apr 6, 2009 18:22:55 GMT -5
Firestar sighed.
"I thought you might." He gazed into Ashfire's eyes, smiling a little. "You have such beautiful eyes." He said softly, smiling brightly to himself. She had beautiful eyes, a silky coat, a fine build. She was a very beautiful cat. Firestar sighed softly, wishing for an instant that she was Spottedleaf.
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Post by .:-Aikoa-:. on Apr 6, 2009 22:10:49 GMT -5
Ashfire was stunned by his somewhat compliment. She didn't know what that had to do with anything.
"T-thank you." She saw the expression on his face and felt her heart ache for the tom. it must have been so hard...
"Please, Firestar... is there any way I can help you?" She asked gently.
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Post by Brambleclaw on Apr 8, 2009 17:31:19 GMT -5
"No, I'm afraid not. Things are complicated now, believe me. Neither of my loves love me, and apparently I have a kit I did not know about. Err, did not know was actually mine and someone else's..." Firestar sighed, shaking his head. He wasn't sure of anything anymore. Was the sky really green, and the trees purple? Was scent really taste, was up really down? It seemed the whole world was not as he thought, and it just caused a horrible headache. He felt his heart pound as he was caught up in Ashfire's eyes, but didn't want to think about loving the she-cat. She probably wouldn't return his love.
"I just wish someone in this world actually cared what I thought." The leader sighed, shaking his head.
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Post by .:-Aikoa-:. on Apr 8, 2009 20:53:24 GMT -5
Ashfire stared at her paws unhappily. She looked up and stared into Firestar's eyes, her own amber orbs filled with uncertainty. Then her expression softened.
"I care about you, Firestar." She meowed gently.
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Post by Brambleclaw on Apr 8, 2009 23:09:58 GMT -5
Firestar was absorbed in Ashfire's beautiful autumn-colored eyes, and he sighed.
"I care about you, Ashfire." He said, smiling sincerely. He felt his heart begin to pound again. With a smile, he suddenly felt like a lost little kit. This was exactly how he had felt for the beautiful Medicine Cat Spottedleaf. Firestar realized, somewhat happily, that he was in love with Ashfire now.
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Post by .:-Aikoa-:. on Apr 10, 2009 7:29:11 GMT -5
Ashfire didn't know why, but hearing him say that sent butterflies leaping in her stomach and a warm fire blazing through her heart. She stared intently into his amber eyes and then nervously smiled.
"That means a lot to me, Firestar..." She mewed gently, turning her eyes to her paws. She didn't know what to say really. He was in love with Spottedleaf and had kits with Sandstorm, so she couldn't dare hope that he would love her, too. But she loved him. Ashfire knew that without him she'd feel... empty. He'd given her life after her brothers had left and Gaara had betrayed her. All that mattered to her now was him.
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Post by Brambleclaw on Apr 10, 2009 17:52:30 GMT -5
Firestar smiled, nodding. For once he actually felt true love and happiness. He had felt love for Spottedleaf, sure, but it had always been secret and concealed. Sandstorm had never taken Firestar's loved, and she never would be his true love. But Spottedleaf had refused him, so what more could he do? Sandstorm also hated him, but he didn't mind. He didn't love her after all. Ashfire could be loved, though, and as freely and sincerely as he wished. And he did wish it.
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Post by .:-Aikoa-:. on Apr 10, 2009 18:54:46 GMT -5
Ashfire frowned. Despite the wonderful feelings that were overwhelming her at staring into Firestar's kind, loving eyes, she couldn't shake off his words. He loves Spottedleaf. Can he really love me, too? She wondered.
"F-Firestar..." She stammered, then she looked down at her paws. She wasn't be used, was she? Like Sandstorm? Would he pretend to love her just to try and get over Spottedleaf? Ashfire's heart felt sick at the thought.
"What about Spottedleaf? And Sandstorm?" She asked quietly.
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Post by Brambleclaw on Apr 10, 2009 19:05:58 GMT -5
"Gone. Spottedleaf won't love me any longer, and Sandstorm hates me." He said with a sigh, realizing that Ashfire probably didn't love him. With a sigh, he stared up at the clouds as if looking for an answer. He felt an aching pain for Spottedleaf, but it was beginning to dwindle.
"Actually, Sandstorm's kits aren't mine." He admitted softly.
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Post by .:-Aikoa-:. on Apr 10, 2009 19:10:15 GMT -5
Ashfire didn't know what to say. She loved Firestar, but... She shook her head.
"Really..." She believed, staring at her paws. She looked up at him and her big, pale amber eyes were filled with sorrow.
"You must be honest Firestar. Do you have any feelings towards me, truly? For if you do not I should wish to go along without letting my hopes up. I... I have endured all that my heart can take." She said, thinking of her brothers, of Gaara... She needed Firestar to love her, she needed the assurance that she had a purpose, someone who loved her and wanted her more than anything else.
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Post by Brambleclaw on Apr 10, 2009 19:29:38 GMT -5
Firestar was shocked at Ashfire's words. He felt his heart race again, and smiled. He nodded, speaking softly but surely.
"As much as I loved Spottedleaf, and more so. Never before have I felt like this around any cat." And it was true, something about Ashfire was a lot more in love than ever with Spottedleaf. He smiled softly at her, her vivid eyes stopping his breath.
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Post by .:-Aikoa-:. on Apr 10, 2009 19:38:33 GMT -5
Ashfire looked up into those amber eyes and she couldn't control herself. She stepped forward and pressed her muzzle against his, taking in his warm, comforting scent.
"And I love you, Firestar... more than I can say. My heart, my soul, my very life is yours." She murmured gently.
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Post by Brambleclaw on Apr 10, 2009 19:42:27 GMT -5
Firestar almost let out a cry of excitement, but he managed to contain himself enough. For once in his life he felt complete. He was speechless and filled with words about to topple out.
"I don't know what to say... How about I love you forever and always with my lives, soul, might, mind and strength? That work for the occasion?" He joked, meaning every word he said. He nuzzled Ashfire and felt a burning warmth in his heart like none before.
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Post by .:-Aikoa-:. on Apr 10, 2009 19:48:39 GMT -5
Ashfire felt a fire pass over every spot he touched. She felt the breath leave her for a moment, and then she turned and gently licked his cheek, reveling in the feeling of his fur, his breath warm on her cheek, his presence so intoxicating.
"I suppose that will have to suffice." She said in an equally joking tone. She smiled and let out a little laugh, feeling like a delighted kit. She had never felt so alive. She had never felt so... free. She had never felt so much love.
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Post by Brambleclaw on Apr 10, 2009 20:04:25 GMT -5
[[So... now what do we do? I'm out of ideas...]]
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