Don't Turn out the Lights (B-Claw)

[.:-Aikoa-:.]

Whispered voices in my ear,
Death before my eyes...
Lying next to me I fear.

Don't turn away...
Don't try to hide.
Don't close your eyes.
Don't turn out the lights.

Whisper stood, watching the sun set with little emotion on her surprisingly-beautiful face. Any outsider would never have dreamed even though she was powerful and broad-shouldered, that this beautiful cat could have been the leader of a murderous band of rouges and ex-Clanners. Perhaps it was easier to believe, though, when one could look into her hazel eyes and see nothing. No emotion. No thought. Nothing. It was strange for one with no feelings, no thoughts of her own really, to lead a Clan. It put stress on her ability to control herself. Her memories, her innermost feelings, they threatened to reemerge after many seasons of surpressing.

The kit stood staring up at the cloud-strewn sky, her eyes wide.

"What's out there, do you think?" She asked her brother, Flamekit. The tom looked up at her and smiled.

"Our ancestors, mousebrain! That's where they live, way up there in the sky!" he exclaimed, nodding his head solemnly. Streakkit's eyes widened and she grinned happily.

"Oh they are so beautiful the clouds. I wish I could reach up and touch one, or lay on one and fall asleep. Do you think I maybe will some day, when I live up there, Flamekit?" She asked. Her brother smiled widely.

"Oh yeah! I can see you up there now, dozing away as the sun warms your pelt." He meowed, nuzzling her affectionately.

How did two best friends end as Whisper and her dearest brother, Flamesoul, had?

"Please, Streakpaw, you don't have to do this!" He meowed, his eyes wide with fear as he backed away from his red-eyed sister. She curled her lips back and snarled.

"I must! It is the only way I can become heartless." She said hostily.

"But why do you want that, my sister? Why would you want to give up this Clan, Willowwind, and me? I thought we were family." He meowed, crouching to defend himself. Streakpaw's eyes - those eyes that had once glowed and shone with emotion - now stared mercilessly at her brother.

"Because my family betrayed me!" She yowled, leaping at him with her teeth bared.

How did a family end that way?

Perhaps there was no answer to the question. But Whisper's family had ended that way. Was it her fault? Perhaps. Was it her father's? Perhaps even more so than it was hers. But either way what was done was done.

Flamesoul, Willowind, Ashtail, her father...
They were all dead.

[Brambleclaw]

"You wouldn't!"
"I would!"
"Look, I don't need you."
"I don't need you either!"
"Good. Corrin, wait up!"
"What?"
"You don't need me, good."

Shadow walked slowly along as every memory that could cause pain raced through his mind. Memories of the past, things he had done and had said. Ways his life had changed, mostly for the worst. Inside he wasn't bad, just had a harsh exoskeleton. He didn't mean to be, but he was. Of course, being in a Clan was starting to warm up to him. This Clan was a place where breaking the rules kept you in. Not breaking the rules got you kicked out. It was where he belonged.

"Knave! You cretin! Your mother's dead and now you'll join her!"
"No..... Help!"
Blood on his claws, he turned and ran. She was blinded now. He had hurt his little darling. His own child was dying now. And he had caused this.

Shadow continued to walk sullenly along, memories mixing up to painful remembrance. It was hard to keep track of what happened when, and he didn't want to remember.

"Help!"
A screech echoed in the distance as the hawk carried his son away. It hurt to watch.
"Help!" It was too late. He was gone.
"Help!" Song cried again. She wouldn't stop. She couldn't.

Shadow scented Whisper and sighed, hurrying over to her.
"Past hurts." He said sadly.

[.:-Aikoa-:.]

Whisper had caught the scent of her General, Shadow. She did not turn as he approached. She could feel his emotions somewhat clearly - a small gift of having learned so much of her own and how to manipulate other's. The leader nodded slightly and stared off into the distance.

"Yes. But there are differences in cats who feel pain. Some release it in their expression, or in words, or sounds. Others keep it bottled up inside, letting it fester and burn within until it comes out and destroys all that they hold dear. I wonder... which is better, do you think?" She asked in her monotonous voice, which had somehow broken a little in the end. She turned slightly and fixed him with her strangely blank hazel eyes, which held a presence but not a thought.

It was as if those eyes... those hauntingly beautiful eyes were empty.
Not empty of someone...
But empty of something.

[Brambleclaw]

"Obviously the first. I'd rather let the world see my faults and accept me that way, than the latter. Keeping it bottled up hurts more and more, until you forget what it's like to feel pain. And by then you can't feel happiness, either. The worst thing you could do is ruin your joy." He said softly, thinking about his little daughter. His old mate. The fact that one fight had ruined his chances at long-term happiness.
"But we always choose the latter. And when it hurts beyond repair, we let it out and destroy what we have. So really, there's no use in trying to avoid it. Some pain gets bottled up. It just depends on if you let it out." He said, his own eyes glittering with emotion. Unlike his leader, he had always strived to feel emotion. Because without sadness, you'd never know happiness. And without happiness, what was a cat? What was anything? Life was unclear, everything was unclear. You always needed sadness, happiness, emotion.

[.:-Aikoa-:.]

Whisper looked up into the sky and nodded slowly.

"Yes... I suppose it would be better to feel... but what if all you felt was pain? What if there was no happiness...? No hope...? Then what would be better? Would it not be better to seal away all those emotions? To stifle them and kill them off, until you become an unthinking, unfeeling machine? Is that any way to live...? I don't know. I don't know anymore." She meowed softly, closing her eyes. Her face showed only the slightest expression of sorrow. She remembered being asked the same question once... long ago...

"Is is better, Streakpaw? Is it? Would you rather feel pain all the time, never to be happy again? Or would you rather be mindless? Emotionless? Would you rather be heartless so that you could never be hurt again?" The black tom asked, staring at her with his cold blue eyes. She sighed.

"I... I think I... I don't want to be sad any longer. I don't want this pain. Can you really take it all away?" She asked, looking up at him. The black rouge grinned and licked his lips, his eyes filled with excitement.

"Oh can I, Streakpaw... I can make your wildest dreams come true. But you must follow me and do as I command." He meowed. She looked at him and smiled.

"Yes, I will follow you, Scourge!"

[Brambleclaw]

"Every night turns to day, as every ounce of pain will be replaced by happiness eventually. So I still think letting it out is the best option." He said with a sad smile, but it quickly vanished. He wasn't the harsh tom he had once been, but he still wasn't the kind tom he had first been. Would he ever be a good, happy cat again? Only time would tell.

[.:-Aikoa-:.]

Whisper turned and looked at him closely, her eyes less expressionless and more curious. She looked all the more beautiful with that expression on her face, but it quickly faded as she smiled a strange smile that seemed to be dull and lifeless.

"I guess you're right." She looked back at the horizon and sighed. "But sometimes there are no happy endings. Sometimes night can influence the day, if one lets it." She murmured. She could see his face. His horror-struck face as he watched her claws, reinforced with the claws and teeth of dogs, slash down at his throat. Flamesoul... how quickly your famous spirit was silenced. She thought solemnly.

[Brambleclaw]

"No, it never can. You might think it does, and a blind cat may never see daybreak. But it always comes. It's never hidden. You just might not be looking in the direction of the sunrise." He said with another sad smile. "You know, you look a lot prettier with emotion on your face." He said with a purr of amusement. A lot like Song, actually. She did look a lot like Song. But she definitely didn't remind him of Song. Or anyone else he might have known or knew. She had no emotion. She was her own cat.

[.:-Aikoa-:.]

Whisper looked at him and sighed.

"Maybe I do. My mother always used to tell me I was a pretty little thing. But that's not what I wanted. In the end I wanted to forget. I wanted not to feel the aches that I had been feeling so long. I guess I sold a little of myself to get that. But I don't know if I can regret it..." She looked down at her paws. You do regret it. From the bottom of your heart. You regret ever having anything to do with that evil cat. If you hadn't left ThunderClan or joined him, Flamesoul... Ashtail... Willowwind... they would be alive now. Whisper sighed.

[Brambleclaw]

"You can do anything you want. No one can make you feel anything. You always have a choice. Right now you're choosing to forget. We all are." He said softly, shaking his head. If things had been different, where would he be now?
"That's why we're all here. We're choosing to feel pain and feel like we have to be evil. If we knew we could, we'd all be good cats." He added with a soft sigh. He most certainly was a good cat at heart, who was heart through and through. Nothing more than that.

[.:-Aikoa-:.]

Whisper shook her head and laughed dryly.

"Yes, but I don't want to be good. I don't want to live the life my father did... Resisting the evil inside only to have it break down and destroy the lives of all he held dear. No. I'm going to show my true colors. I am evil, deep down. I know I am..." She growled, though her face seemed more confused than anything. Was she really evil, deep inside her heart? She once thought so. But doubts always seemed to crawl up at the wrong times... now for instance.

[Brambleclaw]

"You are what you want, and only you can change that. I'm not evil, but I don't know any other life anymore. So I'm loyal to this Clan forever and for always." He said with a sigh, wishing for once things might have been different. But the feeling quickly faded.

[.:-Aikoa-:.]

Whisper looked at him and frowned.

"I guess I must say the same. I cannot change, whether I want to or not, though. I had to kill any wants, any wishes. But becoming leader..." She sighed and looked away, "It opened my eyes to the possibilties again. Instead of following I was ordering... instead of obeying I was being obeyed." She murmured.

[Brambleclaw]

"Funny how quickly things change, hmmm?" Shadow said with a smirk. Yeah, his life had changed in the blink of an eye and the wrong word or two. But he realized that the life he had now, even though it wasn't perfect, would enver be changed by anything. And he didn't want it to. Being General, being free to feel anything he wanted. But most of all, the realization of what you could be.

[.:-Aikoa-:.]

Whisper looked at Shadow intently and then nodded. She sighed and stood.

"Well, you can offically boast you've seen more of the great emotionless Whisper's heart than any other cat... alive." She meowed, smiling at him. The expression was sincere and the sweet emotion behind her face made her eyes sparkle and her fur seem so much softer and prettier. She truly did look beautiful when she showed her feelings...

[Brambleclaw]

"You should show your true colors a lot more often. They're more beautiful than any cat I've ever seen." He said in a friendly tone. He felt something for this cat. Maybe not in a loving sort of way. More like a sister or a daughter. She was young enough to be his daughter. Maybe even his grand-daughter if he'd had kits young. But that was well besides the point. The old tom knew he loved this she-cat like a sister, an emotion he hadn't felt in moons and moons. Many, many more moons than he could count. Yeah, he loved her like a sister. For now.

[.:-Aikoa-:.]

Whisper couldn't help smiling around Shadow. He was just so open, so honest... it reminded her tragically of her brother, Flamesoul... and maybe happily, too. She missed her brother, and this cat was so like him. Honest, pure-hearted... Whisper was a little sad that his valiant heart was wasted on SilenceClan, but she pushed the emotion and the thought away and just smiled.

"Thank you, Shadow. Maybe I will try that." She meowed. And perhaps she really would. It was easier on her to release her emotions. Or maybe it was just that way around him. She couldn't tell.

[Spottedleaf ~Dapps]

[[We done?]]

[.:-Aikoa-:.]

OOC: Eh sure, if ya'all have nothing else to add.