now that i'm back...(short story)

[ViEw]

The sun is gone and the flowers rot
Words are spaces between us
And I should've been drown in the rivers I've found of token lost
And I should've been down when you made me insecure

"merliana,is that you?" called out a tentative voice. who else could it be." she thought venomously,her words sickeningly sweet. ''yes,spaz.it is i." the cocoa hued horse almost jumped to the lynx's side,both habit and guess following. spaz nuzzled her enthusiastically but guess held back. habit wouldn't meet her eyes, something she picked up upon quickly. the stallion was rarely nervous and was an excellent lier; some times he even would fool her. ''what the..." letting the bitterness seep through her she spoke "where have you all been?" it was a simple question,yet there was so much hidden within it.
guess shifted nervously,habit did little better and spaz just plain backed off. the twins held their heads low; habit didn't hold his proudly like he usually did. no one spoke. no one dared breathe. merliana's claws dug into the earth underneath her. "where. have. you. been?" she asked again,her voice cold. the black and white draft looked about to speak but was interrupted by a harried looked guess. "zom wished to show us something that he had found and we left the land for it. when we got back,you were gone so we assumed you left us." her voice sounded full of sorrow. load of bullcrap is what was. she had scoured the place for any scent trail,and had found none. she had been a hunting trip for a few days; they must have left as soon as she did. she didn't believe a word of their story. but she accepted it because, what else could she do.

claws dug into the earth,pelt flew back.warm wind blew. dirt blew. ah,freedom.

"vampire." she said crisply. "yes,merliana." came the reply. "i need to talk to you." her tone applying that he had no choice in the matter. gulping nervously he came to her. "did you show the equine something on the day i left for my hunt?" merliana asked calmly. bristling in confusion he nodded no,hoping it was the answer she was looking for. "why.why couldn't you have." was the distant and whispered reply. "I-" he began but was stopped by a paw hitting his face. backing away as quickly as possible, black tail flicking in apology. "why,why,why.WHY!" she screamed to a stone wall. pushing her head up against it. tears rolled down her heart shaped face.

blood.the life force of all animals. crimson rolling in rivers through the rust. a single cloud passing over the moon.

the group stood in a small circle,all chatting excitingly to each other.merliana held a rabbit in her tight grasp,listening to the conversation while standing only a foot away. "we should really move again..." said habit in his matter of fact tone. "really!can we?" spoke spaz,her twin nodding in agreement."i don't even really like this place." murmured zombie. her eye's sharpened ;she had picked this place for them to stay. "we can be a family again." said guess. "all five of us." agreed spaz. merliana's mouth dropped open.the prey fell to the group with a liquidly plop. ''don't forget to count yourself spaz." murmured habit. "huh?wha...oh yah! i can be such a idiot sometimes." said with a half-hearted giggle. merliana knew it though.she wasn't part of their family any more. she, who had been there through everything,since they had been born. she, who had helped habit get over his losses.she, who had given her faith to vampire and zombie. she, who had loved and forgiven them for everything. they where everything to her and she everything to them. until now.

shh,little one. rest until tomorrow. perhaps this will all be a dream. perhaps you'll wake up.

"do you really think that i would believe all your little lies and excuses?" screamed the bloodied lynx. their silence was answer enough. "i don't believe it." merilana deadpanned. "how stupid do you think I am?" again,silence." 'zom wanted to show us something and when we got back you where gone so we assumed you left.' " she stopped to snarl. " at the very least you could have agreed on a story before hand. but no,you don't even care that much about me." this time spaz spoke."but merliana thats the truth, you-" merliana groweled. "i don't want anymore of your lies." no one spoke. the air was thick with tension. a wolf howled closer by. a cloud passed over the moon. habit finally broke the silence,his voice oddly nervous. " we left merliana...because we were scared of you." she opened her mouth but couldn't find anything to say. habit's eyes brimming with tears he turned. "i'm sorry." the rest followed him as he left, silent shadows. lightning crackled and rain fell in torrents.
"WHY!"

so she sat now. curled in the crook of a tree, rain so similar to the one before,falling down upon her.she was alone now,truly alone. no one to come to her rescue,no one to lean upon. she could've stayed with the brute snowfall,but his voice was too similar to her habit's. she had to stop doing that. calling him hers. they weren't any more.

"it does no good to cry over something that can't be helped." she said,a soft voice from above. the black and white stud raised his head."but i could've done something.its all my fault." he spoke, the cold that would become stronger in his voice, already edging in. "whatever you did is in the past,it is no longer of any importance. you can make yourself stronger,make yourself better." he nodded numbly at the lynx's words. he found himself trusting her,wanting to believe her words. "will...will you help me?" asked with a stronger tone than before. " of course." i'll never harm you like that. the stallion spoke,tears of gratitude clear."thank you."

a sobbed racked her chest. tears ran down her face. she had broken that long ago made promise.

her paws scrambled for a hold."habit!help me!" her voice high in panic. his hoofs ran against the canyon floor,too far to make it in time.but yet he did. his muzzle gripped her scruff pulling her up out of the gorge.his eyes were large with panic,for her. merliana calmed before he did,managing to speak evenly. "i'm fine now habit. every-things fine." the stud nodded slowly.he lowered himself to her level,pushing her up on top of him. she purred softly,feeling the shivers that raced through his skin still.

can't breathe.no one to help.a shiver ran through her as she coughed. she wouldn't die alone.

"their beautiful."merliana murmured and they where. oh the soft fluff upon them that was called fur and their warm innocent eyes. a motherly instinct rose in her,like the one she felt for habit,but she loved him more than a that. these would be her children. the two foals that would become known as spaz and guess. habit nodded his agreement a soft smile on his lips. one that hadn't been seen upon his muzzle since his first family.one that merliana hadn't ever seen before. she was pleasantly to find that a similar smile hung on her facade as well. she and habit would raise the children together,in a way perhaps they would become her children.

oh,spaz!oh,guess!her lovely adopted children,ones that she had raised,ones that she had loved.nothing could ever replace them.

"come play 'liana!" shouted a gleeful spaz before collapsing into giggles against her sister.merliana smiled. she enjoyed watching them from her perch upon habit's shoulder,the evening breeze running through her pelt.she opened her mouth to say she'd rather just watch...but then guess smiled and laughed. "be back in a sec' habit." leaping down off his back,she ran through the flowers with foals,laughing.habit joined in a minute later, rare laughter escaping his smiling lips.....taking a tumble as they were running together she watched for a moment as habit and his daughters,their daughters ran laughing,talking. guess noticed she was gone first and shouted to her "come one! daddy says we can go play in the river!" "now i didn't say that-" he started to say but was shushed by merliana."let them have their fun." habit smiled lovingly at her and nudged the fillies in the direction of the river,joined by a blissful lynx.

her happiest memory. it made her even sadder by the cold fact that accompanied it.she would never be able to do that again. it just wouldn't be the same. the storm lessened,the skies clearing. her eyes now dripped tears. the sadness overbearing.

Sweet words that I want to give you
And I can't sleep
I need to tell you, goodnight...

When we're together I feel perfect
When I'm pulled away from you I fall apart
All you say is sacred to me

You know I'd die just to hold you
Stay with you
Somehow I'll show you that you are my night sky
I've always been right behind you
Now I'll always be right beside you

So many nights, I cried myself to sleep
Now that you love me I love myself
I never thought I would say that
I never thought there'd be you....
I never thought you would leave....

music:breakdown by seether,fallen by seether,learn by thousand foot krutch,wake up by three days grace, falls apart by thousand foot krutch,you by evanescence.
character:merliana
mood: anger/sadness
word count:1586
other: this is one of my favorite posts. the last two paragraphs are my favorite part of the post; reveals how much she cared about them and memories. somewhat like i do except with my own family and memories. in way it's somewhat of what i'm feeling.i've been meaning to write this for a while now. merliana is a character tha i have on most sites.
what this is for: a short story about merliana and her past and how it's affecting her today.

[Mai]

Lovely, Viewy.