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Post by flameh on Jun 22, 2009 9:44:08 GMT -5
Is this real? My kits, my mate? Do I love him? Is it jealousy? What about Renegade? He hates me now. He ignores me, as if nothing ever happened. I know he felt the same way until that kittypet. If only I could rip her pelt off, then maybe we could be together. But now I have kits, a mate, a family, love?
Many thoughts scrolled through the ginger she-cats mind. "Why?" Sparkheart asked herself. Her amber eyes looked up to the sky, two birds flew by and a single tear rolled down her cheek.
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Post by .:-Aikoa-:. on Jul 16, 2009 19:36:08 GMT -5
The tom's huge body never made him the best hunter. He'd been hungry for a while, providing for his mate and his kits - until they had dissapeared nearly a moon and a half ago. Now he still was providing, still hungry, the only difference was he was miserable, too. Renegade looked around him at the familiar grounds of his Clan, and the scent of a familiar and once-beloved - perhaps still loved, deep in his heart - cat filled his senses. He saw her standing there, looking thoughtful... scary thoughtful, but still thoughtful. He blinked and was half tempted to walk away, half tempted to say something. But instead he just stood there, staring.
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Post by flameh on Jul 16, 2009 20:09:36 GMT -5
The young ginger she-cat simply sat there. The scent of him, the cat she once loved, still loved, hated?, fell over her. She didn't turn her gaze but said "Hello Renegade." Her voice was somewhat emotionless.
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Post by .:-Aikoa-:. on Jul 16, 2009 20:13:17 GMT -5
He started at the sound of her voice. But of course, he was upwind... she would have smelled him. He stood for a few moments, just watching. The whole confusing began again, inside, struggling and fighting and clawing its way to the surface of his heart. He had loved Sparkheart as deeply as he had Foalan. But... there had been one fatal difference. My kits... He thought.
"Hello, Sparky." He said half-heartedly, even using his old petname for her. He felt so... lifeless. He wasn't sure why. He even had new kits and everything! But the pain wasn't less... it was worse, somehow. Seeing Sparkheart happy... but then not happy. It pained him worse than ever.
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Post by flameh on Jul 16, 2009 20:23:57 GMT -5
Sparky she thought maybe he still does care. Slowly, she got to her paws. She turned to face him, half smiling. "Ren" she mewed. "How have you been?" she asked. Maybe there was still a shred of faith there for them.
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Post by .:-Aikoa-:. on Jul 16, 2009 20:27:18 GMT -5
Renegade looked at her and felt a bit of warmth creep back in his heart to see her smile.
"Fine enough, thanks. How... how have you been doing?" He asked hopefully. He had seen her kits, and had felt very... jealous, he was sad to admit. He wished... but things were different now.
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Post by flameh on Jul 16, 2009 20:29:12 GMT -5
"Alright" she mewed. She couldn't just say that things were horrible and she was miserable. That she hated her mates, there was no love for him, just the kits and of course Renegade.
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Post by .:-Aikoa-:. on Jul 16, 2009 20:32:20 GMT -5
He looked keenly at her and before he could even think said;
"I think I know you well enough to know you're lying. What's eating you?" He asked before his thoughts fully processed the situation that fate had placed them in.
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Post by flameh on Jul 16, 2009 20:34:37 GMT -5
Sparkheart slowly padded over to Renegade. The cat she truly loved. "My life" she replied. Her life was tearing her apart on the inside, though her 'mate' was never around to notice or care.
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Post by .:-Aikoa-:. on Jul 16, 2009 20:36:45 GMT -5
Renegade looked into her eyes, so familiar and deep, and he felt as if some cat had just torn out his guts.
"Oh... I'm... sorry to hear that. Is it... that... tom...?" He asked, his eyes narrowing as he spitefully spat out the last word. He would kill the wretched scoundrel if he'd so much as laid a paw on Sparkheart!
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Post by flameh on Jul 16, 2009 20:37:57 GMT -5
Sparkheart bit her lip. Then she simply nodded. He's not who I love she thought you are.
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Post by .:-Aikoa-:. on Jul 16, 2009 20:38:48 GMT -5
Renegade felt the fur on his neck lift instinctively.
"I could talk to him, if you like." He growled, his eyes narrowing hostilely.
OOC: Haha... so dense. XD
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Post by flameh on Jul 16, 2009 20:41:17 GMT -5
Sparkheart just shook her head. "You'd be lucky to find him" she mewed "I haven't seen him for many sunrises."
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Post by .:-Aikoa-:. on Jul 16, 2009 21:00:22 GMT -5
Renegade looked at her intently and then sighed a little.
"I'm sorry to hear that. He doesn't deserve you if he doesn't take good care of you." he meowed harshly.
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Post by flameh on Jul 16, 2009 21:02:05 GMT -5
Sparkheart nodded sadly. "I don't know why I'm with him" she said. She looked up into his eyes, they were still as sparkly as ever.
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Post by .:-Aikoa-:. on Jul 16, 2009 21:08:23 GMT -5
Renegade looked at her and then snorted.
"Then leave him. You definately deserve someone who cares for you."
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Post by flameh on Jul 16, 2009 21:10:32 GMT -5
"I would" she mewed "but the who I want is taken." Did I really just say that? she asked herself. She turned her head away, embaressed.
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Post by .:-Aikoa-:. on Jul 16, 2009 21:15:16 GMT -5
Renegade looked at her and, although the thought passed his mind, he pushed it away. He'd lost his chance. She couldn't still love him, there was no way.
"Well he's an idiot if he doesn't see how beautiful and kind and smart and..." He blushed, wondering why he said such stupid things. You have a mate! He thought, but then reminded himself he still loved Sparkheart, too...
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Post by flameh on Jul 16, 2009 21:17:24 GMT -5
Sparkhear tturned to him. She smiled, only Renegade had ever seen this smile. She nuzzled him and purred deeply. "But you see" she mewed in an almost whisper.
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Post by .:-Aikoa-:. on Jul 16, 2009 21:19:45 GMT -5
Renegade couldn't help but melt into her touch, remembering the time when they could be together and nothing but grief for his dead mate could hold their love, which it hardly ever did. Now, everything was twisted and... too confusing to make sense of. He sighed.
"Yes. But I just don't know what to do. I love you, Sparkheart, I really do. But... everything's just so wrong." He sighed. Foalan. His new kits. They all screamed at him that he couldn't love Sparkheart, but he did. He couldn't lose such feelings easily. They were just... there.
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